Abcessed Tooth

I'm typing with a mouthful of Tortugan Rum because I need to see a dentist. A few weeks ago I began experiencing pain in my left, upper teeth; I figured that they might be moving and pressure was causing pain. Yesterday, the area began to hurt a lot more so I let hot coffee sit on the teeth and gums which settled it down some; this morning I suspect an abcessed tooth.

Skol! The rum is supposed by the on-line community, to be whiskey. Now what kind of pirate would do a thing like that? I'm on my second glass of therapy so I figure that I hadn't written anything on Man Code lately and it has caused an abcess to form in my tooth; It's my reckless irresponsibility come to roost, really.

A partial list of my other man-sins that may have caused the abcess:

1. I missed the EAA Warbird Show at Osh Kosh. Radial engines... 2000 horsepower R 2800 Pratt and Whitney Rolls Royce Merlin 18 cylinder 2,800 cu. in. or the 1700 horse Allison Model V-1710-51 (right-hand drive) 12 cylinder, supercharged with a 1,710 cu.in. displacement...

Third glass. The tooth is numbing nicely.

2. I have yet to imbibe the essence of the varmint poontang when a prairie dog does the 'misty prairie hop' and the scent of cordite embeds in my flesh, making me irrestistable to my wife. The concussive effect of the long-bore, high-power firing might have cleared the foul tooth demons out; Coulda-woulda-shoulda...

3. I've had several occasions to start fights with tough teenagers that, when properly instigated can loosen teeth and release set-in tension.


4. I have yet to be abducted by space aliens; I don't care what they might do to my ass as long as they do some of that advanced alien-tech dental with no co-pay.

I'm looking at glass 4...The instructions said you are supposed to spit it out; perhaps that's why they also suggested whiskey. I'm gonna go curl up in my bed with my wife and my dog too; I'll bet he could lick and chew out that abcess. Guess if it's still hurtin' in the morning I'll make bacon and let him work on it through my bad teeth.